Life In Tainted Pages

high and dry

2011-12-22T00:33:00.001+08:00

it's heartbreaking
watching the movie 50/50
to know that you are in almost similar situation
as adam lerner

but he's a bit luckier
since he has someone he could talk to
a girl that is willing to listen to his stories
been there when he needed the most

i have none.

learning to breathe

2011-10-27T13:16:00.001+08:00

i think i am my supervisor's favourite boy.

no kidding.

ever since during my FYP,

i asked my course mates under the same supervisor as mine

and most of them told me that the supervisor was scary.

they got scolded before and that made them didn't want to continue master under the same supervisor.

but

i never got scolded.

i once made her angry but never got scolded.

just low tone scold.lol.is this term even correct?

up until now,

i never got scolded by her.

even when i asked my seniors,

most of them said that she can be scary when she got mad.

i think it's because i always did things according to her expectations.

and sometimes even better.huehuehue

but it's not good.

because that means i'm carrying the burden of expectation all the time.

the expectation as my supervisor's favourite?

hwaiting!

needle and haystack life

2011-10-05T17:49:00.002+08:00

to be a researcher,you need to have these:

1) investigative
this is the most important part as a researcher.you need to be investigative,asking questions about how,why and what is happening.how are you going to conduct an experiment?what are the causes of these reactions?why does your results doesn't come out properly?

BUT

that doesn't mean you can ask your colleague everything from A-Z.it is VERY annoying for your colleague to be asked so many things,especially things that are clear on the paper.do remember that they also have their own problem and work to do!

2) creative
so you're stuck on something that you're working on.you have no idea how to take the next step.or maybe you have done something wrong in your experiment but still repairable without redoing the whole process.this is the time you need to be creative.explore other ways and methods that can help you achieve what you wanted and save the time you have.there is no such thing as one way solution.there's got to be another way.and how you find it,depends on you.

3) independent
it is your work.why must you depend on someone else to do your work?yes,you might need some guidance but always remember that the joy of working is achieved when it was done by your own hands.after you have done all your work,think back at all the things you did.weren't you proud of yourself that YOU DID IT ALL by yourself?there may be some time that you need assistance though.like handling the machines or animals,the moment when you need to do your business in the toilet but your work still not finished. :-P

these are all i can think of.if you don't have all of these,maybe you should start thinking about other job.you should do what's best for you.not what's best for other people.work with passion.not pressure.

and please.if you have trouble,try solve it yourself first before asking someone's help.

p/s:i am so pissed off by an arab girl in my lab because from what i perceived,she doesn't have any of these.and she wants me to teach every single thing that she needs to do.i explained once.then she asked again.and again.until my own work need to be dragged.gosh.how did she come here again?

the night song

2011-09-28T14:22:00.000+08:00

if i could take you to the stars
we'll be flying in the sky
i'll bring my magic carpet
and the lamp with my genie

we'll say hi to the moon
and all the aliens too
don't worry bout the sunlight
we have ourselves through the night

we'll play mars's "count on me"
while we count down from three
i give you all my love
you give me everything

and when the sun comes from east
you'll be sleeping on my knee
we'll land before you know it
but i'll wait until you awake

one day you'll asking me again
"when will we fly again?"
"wait,i'll ask my genie,
tonight are you free?"

i'll take you anywhere you want
london,paris or milan
if you're missing all the stars then
we will watch them from the field

Always Be

2011-09-28T13:52:00.001+08:00

London 4/5/2012
includes Arsenal vs Norwich match ticket
rm2***.**

Seoul 27/4/2012
possibly longer holiday
rm2***.**

which one should i choose?

Happy End

2011-09-19T15:07:00.000+08:00

Honestly, I was a bit worried
if I would be okay without you
I don't know,
I don't know anything
I keep
keep
keep becoming weak

Oh my baby
I loved you
more than anyone
But it's not like before
without me knowing,
everything changed

You don't have to say those things anymore
You don't have to put those awkward expressions
I want to stop,
I'll stop now
Because it keep
keep
keeps getting harder

All the unfulfilled promises,
All the memories we had together
Now I'm going to stop them for me

I'm never gonna fall in love again
I am not going to cry anymore
Better be alone
I want to smile
For my happy end
I'm never gonna see my love again
In the end
I want to end sadness with you
Better be alone
I want to end this
For my happy end
But I'm in love

I'm never gonna fall in love again
Living without you will be good
For a selfish me,
it'll be good
For my happy end
I'm never gonna break my heart again
In the end
I'm going to love me
in my own way
I am going to live for myself
For my happy end
But I'm in love

p/s: Happy end for me?certainly.not!

Just tonight

2011-09-05T12:47:00.001+08:00

i love driving during the night time
even though my eye-sights are not really good if it's really dark ==;

i love opening my car windows while driving
letting the air rushing throught my face and hair
chillin with some nice musics
like avril lavigne's goodbye lullaby
or dashboard confessional's cd
it soothes my mind
and take away all my problems
for awhile.

try drive from alamanda putrajaya
to UPM
you can feel like the road is endless
and all you need to do is drive

just like this life.

"take the wheel and steer"

-Brandon Boyd

first breath after coma

2011-08-19T15:05:00.002+08:00

guess who's back
back again
shady's back
tell a friend

LOL

these pages of mind are dusted
my last post was back at march if im not mistaken
why haven't i write anything?

because

well,
my life is not as interesting as it used to be.
my daily life is just spending my time in post-grad room
or in the lab doing my master research.
and during the weekend i'll drive back home and spend some good times with my family.
nothing interesting to write about.

i know the world around me
there's so many things happening
im aware of it
and sometimes i think i want to blog about it.
but often i lost for words on what to say.
end up it got wasted away.

ahhhhhhhhh

master research is killing my creativity.

thank god for twitter.
at least i can express myself in shorter way.
shorter and simpler.
no need to post anything TL;DR stuffs.

another reason why i stopped blogging.
i lost my inspiration.
you see,
when i started writing about my daily life,
i was inspired by Lucas Scott.
he wrote about his life
and published a book about it.
so i started writing.
and hoping that someday i can write a good piece of stuffs that people will buy to read.

however,
in the middle of it,
i lost the passion
and the inspiration.
plus,
Lucas Scott is nowhere to be found now.
how can i be inspired to write?

pfft

those were just excuses,megat.
just admit it
you are too lazy to write.

HAHAHAHA

anyway,
gotta say thanks to jawahir abdullah for waiting for me to update this blog.
here's a nyan cat for you!

love letter to the venus

2011-08-16T23:26:00.001+08:00

in the dark,in the dark
when there's no light
hear me out,hear me guide you for the path
i am here,i am here
so don't be scared
just be calm
as i lead you out of this lifeless motion

close your eyes
as i'll take your hands with me
hold your breath
and i will take you to destiny
up and up
we'll rise up higher through the skies
we'll say hello to stars at night
until the world collide

can't you see?can't you see
the world is changing
from the past,
the light you shared with us
find the truth,
together we'll see new lives
me and you,me and you
till eternity

i will be your eyes if you blind
i will be your words in your mind
i will be there for you when you cry
i will be next to you when you die

sometimes you can't make it on your own

2011-03-21T23:21:00.003+08:00

very disappointed.

when i wanted to go to korea,
they sprouted all kind of nonsense
to make me not to go there.

and then they tried to persuade me
to go KK instead
bullsh*t

like i wanna go there after they turned my dream down.

then she blamed me for not making up my mind
i don't wanna go there in the first place
especially with them!

haven't she had enough?

whenever we go out on a trip,
they always fighting over who's right and who's wrong.
im sick of it!

if i wanna listen to them fighting,
i could have just stay at home.

trust me,
going KK will only make it worse.
without our own transport,
we'll be relying on others to move
and that will only show how 'beautiful' we can be.

i don't mind no more holiday after this.
at least i don't have to listen to them fighting.

dream on

2011-03-14T21:58:00.003+08:00

my dream was shattered

because of them

i don't know how

or what should i do

to make them change the way they think.

i can't believe it.

you see,

i have a dream to achieve

and i hope i can realize it

before my time comes

or the world ends

i don't wanna leave this world

knowing that i never succeed

in achieving my dream.

but they never understand me.

dream on.

the story only i didn't know

2011-03-08T10:10:00.001+08:00

You really forgot everything
When I see your welcoming face
I start to feel a little hurt
Because of a wound that can’t heal itself

My tears won’t flow
Breaking up wasn’t even a big deal
Because our relationship is worthless

There’s no such thing as a clean break
If I knew this, I would’ve cried it all out then
By then you were done with me
A story only I didn’t know

It wasn’t love
It was just time spent next to you
Now I think I know what it feels like to be hurt
Why did you have to be sorry?

Maybe I was too exited
You were anticipating when you could leave
How amusing was it for you?

There’s no such thing as a clean break
If I knew this, I would’ve cried it all out then
By then you were done with me
A story only I didn’t know

*so depressing but still beautiful.magic of IU!

slow

2011-01-24T12:55:00.001+08:00

slow internet is slow.
i can't get anything done.
FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANT THE SPEEDY INTERNET LIKE THE ONE I GOT WHEN ALL THOSE KIDS ARE ON SEMESTER BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bloody uspot!

born to lead

2011-01-01T16:16:00.002+08:00

it's a new year's day
and for the first time in my life
i have a new year's resolution
this year i'll be 23 years old.
so here i wanna say
that in this year
i will try to be more independent
socially and financially.
ill try to do anything that i want without asking for help from anybody else
ill try to control my finance well.

but that doesn't mean i won't be needing my friends and family anymore!

only time

2010-12-31T21:46:00.004+08:00

2010 ends with a bang!
after 14 years,
malaysia finally made it to the finals of AFF suzuki cup
and WON IT!
congratulations malaysia!
awesome performance by the players
and great tactics by the coach

hopefully this year's success will be continue next year,the year after,the following year and on and on until we reach the world cup! XD

i even went to klia to celebrate the arrivals of the nation's heroes.
very crowded.
i can't get a good shot on the players.
but still manage to shake hands with my own hero,safee sali :)

they're coming!

can you see khairul fahmi? :P

the coach,rajagopal

there's even a special stage for them to have photoshoot.before they came,the ultra malaya never stop singing and chanting up there.awesome spirit!

and now they're leaving.was disappointed a bit cuz cannot take pic with them.but nevermind.im sure i'll meet them someday.it's not that they're living in uk or something.XD

i was disappointed i can't go to the stadium for the final.
disappointed not to buy malaysia jersey as well.
what to do..
i got a lil bit financial restrictions now.

haihz...

the girl with a red bag

2010-12-23T10:57:00.002+08:00

there she comes
through the silent hall
she put down her weight
and her red bright bag
she sit there silently
and reading her book
while im staring at her
with fascinated look

her long straight hair
her white pale face
leaving me without air
captivated me in all ways

can somebody tell me
what's her name?
what's her age?
i wanted to know her
but she seems far away

hoot

2010-12-01T12:07:00.004+08:00

finally i bought the album!wee~!

i got this card inside..my lovely yuri~

here's the inside look of the album.got pamphlet,sticker(i guess) and yuri card.the album is kinda like a booklet with the girls picture inside it.

ah..look at how she pose..so sexy~~

the last page of the booklet.the beautiful sooyoung is on the last page.^^

and finally the cd!

and i bought this as well:
star collection card season 1.there are five cards inside plus one bingo card

flip it over..beautiful maknae!!

thanks to victoria music center for selling these stuffs.ill visit it again next time to buy more cards.XD

The Game

2010-11-24T12:16:00.001+08:00

photograph

2010-11-23T10:23:00.003+08:00

some photos i've taken over the weekend using my navi

bagan lalang shot.that's the golden palm tree resort at the back there.picture was taken without any effect.

from the bridge at subang airport.1.0 exposure,mid-high contrast,low light sensitivity

kuah kacang at sate hj samuri,kajang.effect same as picture no 2.

i think i kinda like the effects i use.gonna try on different subject after this.

tell me your wish

2010-11-22T10:57:00.007+08:00

after several weeks doing research
comparing all the specs
reading all the reviews
listening to all the comments
i finally came up with an answer

answer to my new phone that will replace my 2 years old SE k810 ivy gold.

i still don't have my actual pic though.lol

capacitive touchscreen
16gb of internal memory
5mp autofocus camera with carl zeiss optics
wifi and a-gps

full specs here: X6 gsmarena

really worth the money for me.
at first i was thinking of buying low end phone+new ipod touch.
i need new phone with good camera plus a music player
as i am going to drive my new car within next month
i also need a gps to assist me while im driving
so that's like a new phone with good camera+music player+gps
by comparing the price,
it could be like this (estimated only):

phone with good camera (5mp)=rm600
music player (16gb)=rm500 <--this is not an ipod touch's price.
gps=rm300
total=rm1400
the price i paid for this phone=rm1030
so i save rm370 for all the things i need by having this phone.
and to iphone fags who obsessed with steve jobs beautiful babies,
you guys are just another victim of total hype and money sucking s.o.b.

*evil laughs*

as for now,im crazy transferring mp4 videos into my phone it looks awesome.
seriously.
even though the file size is big,
but the quality is enough to made me jizz in my pants.
yes.
it's an ultimate high watching high quality videos of boa,SNSD and kara on this phone.

*evil laughs again*

so hot

2010-11-18T11:35:00.001+08:00

just a teaser for my next post. ^^

movie-like

2010-11-03T14:59:00.002+08:00

if life is a movie,what would your ending be?
will it be joyful happy ending?
or just plain sad and full of tears?

life's ending is the same for everyone.
it's death and the afterlife.

but what comes before the ending that matters.

if life is a movie,
there will be climaxes,twisted plots,some comedic relieves
and of course the tense that keep you going.

do you have it all?

i don't really want my life to be as a movie.
then,it would be a little boring.
when it gets to the climax and towards the ending
that's all.
i mean,our lives are like journeys.
everyday we face something new.
trouble in relationships,
arguments with parents,
problems at workplace
or maybe problem with study.

that means
life is not a movie after all.
it's like a tv series.
that keeps going on and on.
one trouble will come one after another
and somehow you will find something to solve it.
you can't dodge it.
you can't get away from it.
but you can put an end to it.
from there you will find an ending.

and of course,
every ending is a new beginning.
you will continue to breathe
and live your life
and then you will face another problem.
that's how the cycle goes.

so heads up my friends.
once you're in trouble
bear in mind
there's always a solution.
there's always a key to unlock the door for you.
it might be around you,
you just got to find it.

Cut

2010-11-02T15:05:00.000+08:00

I made it
And now there's no turning back
I know there's no depth you wouldn't sink for the chance
I'm sorry, boy
I'm not cut for this no more

You came in
Yeah, you happened to me
So I waited and nothing else has since
I'm sorry, boy
But I'm no good for you no more

If it's your name in lights
And if the time is yours,
You'd be on your back
You'd be on the floor
It's the kind of night that I'd always hoped
And he's the kind of guy worth waiting for

There's always some baggage you've got to check
I'm trying
Hope that you'd understand
I'm sorry, boy
I'm not cut for this no more

Yes I loved you, boy
But I'm not cut for this no more

i'm not cut for this no more...

show!show!show!

2010-10-26T10:02:00.002+08:00

firstly:

arsenal won against man city at the eastland.revenge is sweet baby!3-0 and moneybayor didn't even start!hahahaha

secondly:

still staying in K17 untill end of the month.even watched the match at faculty's cafe with my friends.amazing feeling.can you imagine sitting with man u retards(yes,i call them retards because there's no such thing as united fan support the citizens.) that hoping for arsenal loss.in your face mate!

finally:

SNSD-hoot single is out already!check the youtube video for the single.it's awesome!i've been playing it in the loop and repeating it again and again.

Day by Day

2010-10-21T16:02:00.002+08:00

first:
i got to stay at the college for another week.and im considering to extend untill the end of the month hopefully.i just can't leave this college.. ==;

second:
my work is kinda boring.if i didn't have to go to the lab,i just sit at my desk from 8 till 12 and then from 2-5.and like i said in previous post,i got paid for using the internet.hahahaha ^^

third:
my supervisor took me and my seniors for lunch today.and i was the youngest in the table.so shy.. *blush*
after my seniors finish their study,the only students under my current supervisor will be me and another senior.what a responsibility for me to attend our juniors for the upcoming semesters..

lastly:
i've been doing another research for my own good.
looking for new phone.LOL
i haven't receive my paycheck yet and i already looking for new phone. XD

another thing:SNSD will release their new mini album!! 흣!!

Leaving On A Jet Plane

2010-10-17T22:39:00.003+08:00

i've been living in here for four years.
it's almost like my second home

no

it is my second home.

i changed room three times
including this room.
yet i picked the same spot.
the same bed position
the same table.
the one near the window.
it's not coincidence.
it's just my habit.
or should i say my liking.

i love being here.
no matter with or without friends.
of course with my friends,it should be better.
the atmosphere,
the sound
the air.
i just love it.

when people leave
i chose to stay here.
although it only happen after i left for few months.
i could have go anywhere
but i chose to stay.
even though the admins didn't allow me
i insist to stay.

next tuesday is my due.
i should leave by then.
but im not sure whether i can leave here and move on.
i just hope my persistence will bear fruits at the end of the day.

My Best Theory

2010-10-12T10:04:00.004+08:00

thanks to my family,friends and UPM
four years of study
four years of laughter
four years of pain
for years of sing and shout
it came to end yesterday

from the moment i first step into the Faculty of Medicine and Health Science
to the moment i step out of the Dewan Besar UPM
i will cherish those days
i will always remember it
it will be stitched in my brain and my heart

the end of a chapter
the beginning of a new page

a new page of my life

night dream

2010-10-09T22:23:00.002+08:00

take my hand
i'll take you up to the sky
the night is ours
until the morning come
we sing and we dance
just to pass the time

we come back down
to lay here for awhile
we came back up
before the stars come down
i'll shoot them for you
to make you feel good

the sky is yours
so you can draw up the lines
and you can see me
everytime you want
use the stars as your ink
i'll let your dream

love will be gone
but i'll be here all night long
time will fly by
but i'll be stay here by your side

work

2010-10-04T14:32:00.003+08:00

a new life for me.
it's called "working life".
although it's not really a working life actually.
i got paid for surfing the net.

XD

just kidding.

im working as research assistant for now.
today is my second day at work.
my job actually is to help my supervisor in her classes and lab.
but since the sem is near to end already
so i guess i can only concentrate on my master proposal.

it's boring if you can't find any source of entertainment.
lucky me
the internet is available here.
although i can't download anything
but i can still able to surf my usual sites.
that's good enough.

and i have boa,kara,SNSD and davichi to accompany me.

^^

telephone

2010-09-21T22:47:00.003+08:00

i've been using maxis mobile internet ever since they introduced 5mb per week for rm3.
it's very cheap for me considering that i regularly check my fb and LYN forum every hour.
you might probably asking how on earth i can check the internet with 5mb per week cap.
it's because i disabled the image load of course!
when i disabled it,normal usage for me is like 3-4mb per week.
if i wanna check image file that i want to,i just open that particular image file and load it.

easy rite?

no need to load all those useless images that took up my bandwidth.

and one day it got me think.

what if we substitute our phone usage into..

wait a minute

if you got a full bladder you gotta hold on because the next line im about to say is totally awesome

..TOTAL FACEBOOK!

LOL

isn't that cool?

even now some people (like me!) are obsessed with their fb and check on it every minute for updates.
and some of them are even message each other thru fb even though they can do it by sms or phone.
(honestly,i don't have some of my friends phone number.when i wanna message them i just drop them a message whether at their wall or private message.LOL)
only time will tell when can we use total facebook in our life.
we exchange message with our friends.
share photos.
send out invitations to party or events.
who needs phone when we can use fb to do all that stuff?
even in last raya,lots of people use tagged photos to wish their friends "selamat hari raya maaf zahir & batin bla bla bla".
and to my surprise,i only got three sms from my friends wishing me selamat hari raya.

by now if zuckerberg read this he probably going to take me as fb talk person.
LMAO

apart from that,i remember a friend of mine said "skype was one of the coolest invention".
who knows we can integrate skype as well into our phone and use it to video call each other.
screw 3g video call as the camera sucks.

okay.the most important thing for all phone and telco provider.
the charge.(ananda krishnan,take note)

even now we have prepaid broadband that have various packages to choose.
maybe the telcos can offer capped usage for certain values or monthly charge for these two services.
for example,facebook+skype rm25/month plus 10gb internet usage.
AWESOME!

so,in order to have this my current wet dream,the phone company must work together with mark zuckenberg and niklas zennstrom to produce one phone that enable users to use fb and skype ONLY in their phone.

i can't wait for this dream to happen!
in the future,whenever we meet someone new,we probably ask "so,what's your facebook?" instead of the old fashioned "so,what's your number?".

LOL

memory

2010-09-01T22:50:00.003+08:00

so i went to smk hillcrest today to send kuih raya packages that was ordered by the staff there.

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!
nostalgic mang!
the entrance..

the surau..

my old classroom..

the corridor where i used to hang out when the teachers are not in the class..

the office..

well..i don't go there that often. XD

and the canteen..

they're still use the notice board for co-curriculum purpose. LOL

feel very nice mang to come back to the place where it used to be my playground.

playground?HAHAHA

yeah.i can said like that.back then i only know study+play.nothing else.

and we,the science stream students were notorious as the students who play football whenever we want.even the GPKHEM can't handle us.LOL

ok.
back to my visit.

i bumped into couple of teachers that i can't remember well.
but i remember one of them used to be my ustazah.don't know when.i think it's during form 4@5.she obviously didn't remember me though.haha.

i saw a name on the list of kuih raya buyers.it's my old BM/history teacher.when i asked the staff,i even mentioned her full name with her father's name as well.she was surprised i remember her full name.haha.of course i'd remember.

student will always remember the name of the teacher who scold them.

yeah.she did scold me during history class when i was form 3.since then i hate her class.when we found out that she's going to teach us BM in form 5,all of us became sick!

LOL.

memories.

oh ya.i also bumped into my old friend.she's a teacher now.surprise,surprise.she had a really soft voice.i wonder how her students manage to catch up with her.huhu.

too bad i can't spend more time there.and i was alone too.i wish i brought some of my school friends there to reminisce the old memories.

ah..i miss my school mates...

i need a girl

2010-08-14T00:10:00.002+08:00

the other day my mom told me,
"tengok abg ni macam 12 tahun je lagi.takde pergi dating.takde keluar lepak.takde bawak kereta pergi jalan-jalan."

LOL

my explanations:
1) not dating-it's not that i don't want to but i don't have anybody to go out with for the first place!

2) didn't go out-i won't go out if i only have like rm20 in my wallet.

3)didn't drive-on the way,mom.i swear this time i'll get the license!

in other word:

mak,anak mak ni memang BAEK orangnya. ^^

implode

2010-08-07T01:18:00.000+08:00

돌이킬 수 없는 시간들
The times that we can't go back to
무너져 내리는 감정들
The feelings that have fallen
붙잡아도 손틈 사이로 흩어져
Even if I grab them, they fall apart in my hand
하염없이 흘러내리는
Because of the constant flowing tears
눈물 때문에 자꾸 나는 시선 둘 곳 찾아 헤메이고 있어.
I keep on looking back

나를 떠나지마 그 말 한마디가
"Don't leave me"
그때는 왜 그렇게도 힘들었는지
Why were those words so hard back then
내 곁에 머물러줘 그 말 한마디가
"Stay next to me"
그때는 왜 그렇게도 힘들었을까.
Why were those words so hard back then

빈틈없이 나를 채우는
Completly, wholefully
부서져 내리는 기억들
I cherished the broken and falling memories
비워내려 애를 써도 소용없고
No matter how much I try, there's no use
모질게 나를 꼭 붙잡는
The yearning holds me tight
그리움들이 자꾸 나를
Even though it keeps me lingering
머물지도 돌아서지도 못 하게해.
It won't even let me turn around

안녕이란 그 말, 흔해빠진 그 말
Words of parting, words of weariness
그 말 한마디에 많고 많았던 웃음과 눈물을 묻고
Those words are drenched in many smiles and tears
거짓말처럼 그 어떤 일도 없었다는 듯 살아질 수 있을까.
Like a lie, would I be able to live as if nothing happened?

It's so damn hard for me to let you go
you know I can't let you go
no I can't let you go

그렇게 떠난 너를
You left me like that
자꾸 떠올리게 돼 나는
but I keep seeing you
붙잡아도 손틈 사이로 흩어져
Even if I grab you, you fall apart in my hand
아직도 그대론데 나는
It's still you
기다리고 있는데 너를
I keep waiting for you
텅빈 안부 조차 없는 그댄 어디에.
At the place where there's no empty memories of you

내 곁에 머물러줘.
Please stay with me

Credits : KoReAnBoBa@BoAjjang.com

the love bug

2010-07-31T02:33:00.000+08:00

for start,here's what i do for the past couple of months:

-playing football manager
-eat
-watching tv

and while watching tv,i managed to catch up with some tv series such as how i met your mother,glee,smallville,flash forward and 10 things i hate about you.

more importantly,ever since i back home,i got caught in a wave bigger than the tsunami wave.

it's hallyu wave.

it actually started last year.
when i first saw kara's mv-wanna.
as an avid fan of boa,watching kara's energetic+cute face really reminds me of the young boa back in rock wit u days.

then,as i went back to college
with the unlimited internet,i managed to find more stuffs about them.
then,it leads me to another girl group.

SNSD.

omo~
these girls are surely hot!
even hotter than any hollywood stars~

then,when i came back home,with the help of my sis(well,more to forced actually.she conquered the remote.:P),my hallyu fever raised drastically.

i came to know more girl groups.

f(x)

their song, NU-ABO really got stucked in my head.nananananananana~

secret

the reason i like this group:

han sunhwa
@the blank paper.

she's so white.
however,in invincible youth,the fans called her blank paper as she always seems blank.
lol
she reminds me of my earlier korean crush, jeon ji-hyeon.
<3<3>

t-ara

bo peep bo peep bo peep~

and the one that has the best vocal for me,

da vichi

these two girls have amazing voice!
i watched their performance in music bank.awesome.
they controlled their voice like writing on paper.
one of the girls just reached 20.how's that?

not forgetting,
the flowers of invincible youth,

G7!

this is old pic though.

grr..
i wish i could find malaysian girl that has the looks like one of these girls..

oh yeah.
almost forgot.
the queen of my heart~

the reason why some of the girl groups existed.
BoA!
she's celebrating her 10th anniversary on 25.8
and now she's returning back to her country after 5 years in japan and a stint in america.
i can't wait to see her on music bank next week!!

i see you

2010-07-16T11:40:00.002+08:00

thanks for increasing my traffic count.
you've been so immature to do that kind of attack to me.
and with the immature reply you gave.
i didn't comment directly to you.
why must u butthurt?

once again,
thanks for increasing my traffic count.
i should enable adsense from now on
so that i can get some money.
LOL

regards,
ARSENAL and USED-TO-BE BARCA FAN

we are one

2010-07-14T13:43:00.001+08:00

every race there is poor people and every race there is lazy people

for alot of poor chinese its because their bad attitute , for alot of poor malay its partly because they are being too kind
for alot of lazy chinese its because they are too pampered, for alot of lazy malay is because they are narrow minded and like to blame other

and for every race there is rich people and every race there is hardworking people

for alot of rich chinese they rarely give back to the society, for alot of rich malay they earn it by crony
for alot of hardworking chinese they are still selfish , for alot of rich malay they go unappreciated

Im not replying to your post btw, Im just saying there is 27 million people in malaysia and there is 27 million different personality, dont let 1 rotten teaspoon of milk ruin the whole bottle. while generalization help and speed us think, end of the day, its open minded and trust that would truely enrich your life.

a smile go a long way a trust take us forward and let us not forget we all are brother and sister end of the day for we all are same human species

quoted from LYN forum user,guest18

no more sorrow

2010-07-14T12:08:00.002+08:00

i am 22 years now
it's a great birthday for me after seeing spain won the world cup
and reading all the birthday wishes from my friends in the facebook.
it feels great to have friends remember you.

somehow
there's one less birthday wish this year.
as i expected.
i don't know what i did wrong.
but he seemed to move on and ignoring me at all.
it's okay.
i don't mind.
i'm not the type who dwell on something if it's not my mistake.

no more sorrow.

im 22 years old now.
no longer a kid.

final

2010-07-12T12:02:00.002+08:00

and the curtains fall last night
with my favourite team,spain lifted the trophy
how awesome can my birthday be?

both team deserved to be in the finals.
holland went to the final with 14 matches unbeaten.
spain went to the final by playing possession football that conquer the game.
they just lost once to the swiss because of casillas' error.
thank god he recovered well and only conceded once after that.

however
it was so apparent that one man team cannot win the game.
this is modern football.
not like the past where the likes of pele and maradona single-handedly brought their teams to the finals.
and that prove the cutting edge between holland and spain.
holland depend too much on sneijder and robben.
they forgot that they have a very good striker in the form of RVP.
and robben as well
a selfish prick.
yes,he is amazing dribbler.
he is a fast runner.
but if u don't play with your team,
you can't go anywhere.

spain.
the moment fabregas came in,
you know he'll bring some magic to the team.
and that proved decisive in the extra time
when he provided a wonderful assist to iniesta.
i can't imagine what it's like for people in spain.
they must be jumping in joy after that goal.
with all the economic crisis now,
they must have found a god-given relief by their national team.
not just spain.
any world cup-winning nation must have been very delighted with the news.

when will the malaysian team win the world cup?
haihzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

lonely

2010-07-10T15:15:00.002+08:00

when all the noise around you
become silent
when the chirping birds
flew away

when you can't understand
what they're talking about
when there's so much things going on
but you're just lie awake

when the music that you've been played
suddenly stopped
when all you can see
is just a blank stare

when the night is dark
without a moon
and your days are washed
by the pouring rain

when the busy street
deserted by the cars
when all of sudden
you felt tears on your cold face

that is the meaning
of being lonely

-all of a sudden,i missed everyone-

four

2010-07-04T22:19:00.003+08:00

only four teams left in the world cup.
the best four
top four nation
uruguay
netherlands
germany
spain

well,well
something's not right here.
yes.
the world's no 1 is not here anymore.
they were beaten by the oranje.

and another thing.
where's the world's best player?
he's not around as well.
oh yeah.
his nation was humiliated
or should i say raped
by the germans.

and the so-called golden generation
what's so golden about it?
they won nothing.
apart from the players' respective clubs.
who cares if you scored using legs and heads this season?
if you can't score in the world cup,
you're just 'another' player.
not a 'star' player.

lol

i was right about argentina's defensive frailties.
no matter how great your strikeforce is,
if your defense is poor,
you are doomed to phailure.
also,
hugs and kisses doesn't win the cup.
remember that.

spanish possessive football
will be up against german's quick counter attack.
who will win?
one thing for sure,
the cup is for the europeans to win.
and the myth about brazil always win the cup whenever it was played outside of europe,
BUSTED!

wrapped

2010-06-26T12:36:00.003+08:00

end of the first round~!

some big guns marched on easily
some of them crawled to get to the knockout round
some of them were heavily bruised
and some of them not even got through the second round.

japan and korea made the whole asian proud as they marched on.
first time these two made it to the latter stage outside of their country.
both nation scored wonderful freekicks in their last group match.
i hope they can survive to the quarter finals.

ghana was the only african team left
despite the tournament was played in their own continent for the first time.
pele predicted that an african team will be the world champion in 2010.
will they be the champion?
who knows.
but to become the champion
they need to overcome the americans first.
interesting.

all the south american team got through
and there's the myth that brazil will win whenever the tournament is held outside of the europe.
will they be the champion?
my heart is more to the argies.
not because of messi alone
they have great squad
and maybe a good coach
who loves to kiss and embrace his players.
tell me which other coach do that?
anyway,
i also would like to see maradona run naked.
that's why i wanna see them in the finals.
XD

my support will be on spain,argentina and holland.
i will support the asians as well.
i hope i can get a good birthday present in the form of world cup. ;P

fever

2010-06-18T21:11:00.002+08:00

the fever is already a week old
now only i write about it.

after a week
the world cup for me is
FREAKING BORING.
only few matches are good.
germany-australia,
south africa-mexico,
and argentina-south korea.
the others...
meh..
watch the highlights are much better than watching it live.

i wanna rant about the team now.
be prepared.

first off,
my own fav spain.

one-two-three,
HAHA BARCA.
yes.
im hating the barca players rite now.
i mean
the catalans.
mainly for the tapping up case of fabregas.
so much for the so called barca DNA.
and look what happened to the spain national team.

barca:
valdes,
alves,puyol,pique,abidal
busquets,xavi,toure
messi,ibra,iniesta/pedro

spain:
casillas
ramos,puyol,pique,capdevilla
busquets,xavi,alonso
silva,villa,iniesta

there are five barca players in the spain team.
and del bosque tried to play like barca and abandoned what aragones have said before the match.
play villa with torres.
the result:they got owned.
dammit del bosque.
you think spain have their own messi?
and casillas.
wtf is he thinking when he barged in to get the ball using his legs when he should get it with his hands.
and that damned swiss striker was marked by pique.
and still covered by him.
why should casillas took dived in??

RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

next team i wanna rant:
england.
we start it with why do i hate england so much?
why?
because they promise everything but end up with nothing.
ever since i start watching proper football
particularly since world cup 2002,
they've promised that they have the golden generation.
but still end up losing in the latter stage.
this time,
i thought they have some hope when they hired fabio capello.
and they started brilliantly
plus the game against croatia where walcott scored his first hattrick for england.
i think to myself,
this is it.
if there's the time when england win the world cup,
this is the moment.
but what happen last saturday?
goalkeeper blunder?
meh..
somebody should mark dempsey.
but who did?
lampard?
gerrard?
lol
they keep on blaming the keeper but from my view,
they don't have any hard-tackling midfielder to watch out for american's roaming attacking midfielder,namely dempsey and donovan.
did capello learn nothing from these two who had and still play in EPL?
did beckham didn't warn his fellow english men about his club-mate?
yes,they still can progress
provided they have the right results against their next two opponents.

argentina:a team with amazing strikeforce
higuain,messi,milito,tevez,aguero
imagine all five of them playing at the same time.
but in spite of the forwards they have,
their defensive quality was laughable.
prone to counter attacks,
easily lost concentration.
they're lucky not conceded any goal against nigeria.
but it was clearly shown last night after they conceded against the koreans.
that damm hardworking fella(i forgot his name.that bolton's winger)
punished the defenders and scored a goal.
yes,the argies scored another two after that.
but what if they face the same attacking team as them later on?
maybe we can see a rugby score then. :P

that's it for now.
i need to hit my bed later to catch england's second match.

chiao~

precious

2010-06-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

Exclusively reveal what Arsene Wenger said in his secret meeting with Cesc Fabregas

When Barcelona target Cesc Fabregas determinedly tramped into Arsene Wenger's office this week to demand that Arsenal allow him to return to his boyhood club, few expected he would emerge profoundly moved by the experience.

"It is probably the greatest conversation I have had with someone in my life," Cesc declared. A statement that left the rest of us wondering just exactly what the silver-tongued Gunners boss might have said to his protege and slightly jealous that we weren't invited to such a momentous event.

Luckily, this column has its grubby little fingers in many pies and can exclusively reveal that Wenger's mind trick went something like this:

Fabregas: I'm off!

Wenger: There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. You do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy... er... I mean football.

Fabregas: I'll never join you!

Wenger: If you only knew the power of the Arsenal. Pat Rice never told you what happened to your father.

Fabregas: He told me enough.

Wenger: I am your father.

Fabregas: No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!

Wenger: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

Or something like that anyway.

taken from soccernet.com

writer

2010-05-29T01:21:00.003+08:00

i can write about myself
using pages of my life
that have multiple chapters
with hundreds of line
and thousand of words
made up by millions of letters

i can write anything about myself
but i don't want to

i just can't find the right word
to describe my feeling
i can't find the right line
that can change one's mood
i don't know how to fit
my whole life into chapters

so tell me
what does it take
for one to start write about his life
a letter?
a word?
a line?

-the writer who lost his words-

dead

2010-05-25T14:48:00.002+08:00

done with one tree hill S08!!
tree hill is not the same without lucas scott.
but they still maintain the quality of the story though.
kudos for that.
scandals,love-break relationships,family ties
everything is still there.
and most importantly
friendship
and music!

have you ever imagine
having a bunch of friends that will stick together with you
while you grow up
until you get old
the same faces who stick with you through thick and thin
friends who will always be by your side
that lend their shoulder for you to cry on
and push you up when you are down

watching them having fun at the snow hill of Utah
damm
i wish we have one at Malaysia.
XP

but i have one question that baffled me.
why do they need to kill of good characters?
is it just for the sake of drama?
to make it look good as a tearjerker scene?
damm
i really wanna see quinn taylor again next season.
and clay as well.
they're like one of the cutest couple you ever seen on tv.

quinn was so hot in the finale.
no wonder they wanna kill her off.
==;

next season finale to be watch:
SUPERNATURAL!
and AMERICAN IDOL!

born

2010-05-24T16:18:00.002+08:00

i've been waiting for the news today
but they said the sky is dark and grey
so i put my shirt on and write a sad love song
think about the things that have changed
ever since i left the town for ages
i look at the people but i know no one at all

what's in store for me,sir?
do you have salt and pepper?
cuz my life has been tasteless
and my words are blunt
and i don't know how i got here,
my phone is gone
but i know what's my name
and where i've been born

did you read the signboard?
where the love will lead you to the one
that close enough for you
to feel the warmth of your heart
can you speak what i speak?
hear the things i wanted to hear
cuz our life is different
even though our blood are the same

if i said your life is in the wrong lane
would you ride or wait until your last train
would you care for one's pain
or even take his own gain
i could choose whatever i want
cuz it's my life
my world
my feet and my hand

awesome

2010-05-18T22:21:00.002+08:00

and so the season ended for vampire diaries last week.
oh my god.
it was awesome.
when i first watch the pilot episode,
i already have high hope on this show
cuz it's like a mix of one tree hill+angel
the show started slowly but still exciting enough.
and as it picks up the pace,
it became a lot more better
well developed
the logic is there
and it relates well from one episode to another.
not forgetting,
the cast was great!
nina dobrev is hot.
when she plays elena,
she's like the hottest chick in town
and when she plays katherine,
she's the most gorgeous woman from the past.

the vampire brothers are cool.
stefan with his down-to-earth vampire who wants to be human
and damon as the badass brother with his funny lines
they completed each other and become a great vampire combo
awesome!

there's still no news about when will the next season start.
i can't wait!
katherine will be there.
jeremy will turn into vampire.
the love triangle between the vampire brothers and elena
woo-hoo~

resting

2010-05-13T21:40:00.002+08:00

im kinda bored at home.
spending my time with fm from day to night.
occasionally write the journal that my supervisor asked.
and playing my guitar,writing new songs.

that's my life for you.

talk about new songs,
don't know why but i was kinda got more ideas when at home compared to at college.
that's a good thing for me.
at least i have something good to come up with.
i've wrote four new songs.
not as prolific as the professionals
but at least more than before within two weeks.
some of them i really like.
and some of them are really personal.
i'll try to post it in here when i can.

let's change the topic.
im writing a journal that my supervisor asked.
she wanted me to combine my project with my friend's project and write a journal to publish.
she said she'll pay me for it.
i didn't ask her bout the payment yet
i just want to do it first before think about the payment.
she said i have a talent to write.

LOL

i guess she never read my blog here.
XD

finally
i want to write something.
something that has been bothering me since i came back home.
something personal.
i don't know is it right or wrong to write this.
but i want to.
i just need to let it out.

my mom always argue with my dad.
but lately it's getting worse.
my dad..
sigh.
i don't understand him.
i can never understand him.
somehow i feel like he's a stranger in this house.
when my mom got mad at him,
sometime she'll let it out on me or my sis.
she'll yell at us.

im sick of it.
i rather stay in my room than be in the living room.
i will go out of my room when it's time to eat.
and when i wanna watch tv.

i hate this.

that's why i seldom go back home this sem.
i told my mom i can't get online often when at home.
but the true reason is this.
i hate to see them like this.

i hate it.

ending

2010-05-10T21:17:00.003+08:00

and the EPL season was over last night.
our best season in 3 years for me considering the amount of injuries we had.
though there are times the team's morale at bottom low
after losing two matches at home against our biggest rivals.
we were written off the title twice.
but still fighting for the title until 35th match.
where we self-destruct against wigan.
even before the season starts,
some people predict we can't even finish in top 4.
considering the amount that man city spent before the season starts
and liverpool's last season form that was expected to carried over this season.
plus the strength of tottenham.
but here we are.
in the third place.
the final spot for champions league automatic qualifying.

some memorable moments this season:
vermaelen scored his first goal in his debut.
showing how monstrous he can be in the air.

the comebacks against liverpool and bolton.
andy scored his 5th goal at anfield.

cesc's one man show against villans.
he came,he scored,he got injured.

nasri's brilliance against porto.
the reason why he was dubbed the new zidane.

next season awaits.
chamakh is waiting to put his sign to papers.
wenger has already announced that he will looking forward to buy some players.
established players.
it looks like we're going to have a new goalkeeper.
both almunia and fabianski were laughable for a team like us.
mannone and schezcny shown some promises.
if the rumours are true,
buffon might be our new no 1 next season.
how drool-worthy is that?
plus,eden hazard also sounds like he's packing his stuff heading to emirates.
i can't wait~~~

world cup is next.
the red fury will be my pick as the winner.
many said that european teams cannot win the cup outside of europe.
who knows,
with the winter is coming in south africa,
the europeans might think that they're still in europe.
XP

at the moment,
im enjoying myself with thomas cup and the hockey tourney at ipoh.
here's hoping to have a birthday celebration with cesc lifting the world cup.
ahakx~

remember

2010-04-28T17:46:00.002+08:00

when i'm gone
would you miss me like i do
when i am not here around you
would you remember
the greatest thing we had
and the times we won't forget
please remember me

when i'm gone
will you try to find someone new
to replace the one who walks beside you
are you going to find yourself
the warmth that you once had
that you got from me
will you do that to me

i'm not asking you to remember me
i'm not asking you to forget
these times i'm sure
will never comes again
so be prepared

when i'm gone
will the nights move slowly like tonight
or the days move fast like a train
i won't be here
everytime you try to call
or when you try to find the shadows
i will never be with you
again

decision

2010-04-23T17:18:00.002+08:00

i've made lots of decision in my life
and some of them changed me.
some of them were very important that made me what i am now.
if i didn't took either any of them
i would wonder what would my life be now.

when i was in standard 3,
we had a special exam that will allow us to skip year 4 of our primary school
and can continue straight to year 5.
i took the exam and passed.
and i went to year 5 without learning anything in year 4.
i wonder
what will i be if i didn't skip year 4 instead.
maybe i can be a better student and get 5As in UPSR instead of 4As and 1B.
but maybe didn't get the 'tokoh pelajar' award.

when i was in standard 6,
my mom got transferred to different school.
she gave me and my sis option
whether to continue study in our school
or follow her.
i stayed.
i wonder
what will i be if i followed her.
maybe my chance of going to boarding school will be higher
or maybe i just screw my UPSR after changing school all of the sudden.

when i was in form 4,
and my sister was in form 1,
she was accepted to an SBP
the one that i wanted to go back then when i was in primary school.
she got homesick and wanted to go home badly.
my mom asked me
"do u want to go there as well?poor ur sis"
we do have our own "connection" in the MOE that can easily arrange me into that school.
but i don't want it.
i wonder
will i do better in my SPM if i go there
or i'll be just like other SBP students that went into matrix
and did badly there.

when i was in matrix,
i got accepted to continue my study at Asasi UPM.
it will be easier for my parents to visit me
as my kakak was in UPM as well.
but i stayed.
i wonder
will i be doing vet course now
as i see lots of ex-asasi students continue their study in vets
or i won't have some of my sweetest memories during matrix.

before i got accepted in UPM
to continue my study,
i was hesitating on which course should i take.
food tech,dietetics or nutrition.
my aim is food tech.
it is always my dream to work in food science.
but my family told me that dietetics has better career prospect.
after a long thoughts,
i decided to put dietetics as first option.
and food tech as the second.
i also put nutrition in that list somewhere around 5th or 6th.
i wonder
if i got accepted in dietetics course,
will i be doing better than now
or i will screw it up just like two of dietetics friends.

before i do my FYP,
i was hesitating to go for which supervisor.
Dr S or Dr A.
i heard from my senior that nobody dares to go to Dr S.
and when i go for the presentation of the topics by his master students,
i was thinking
"what the hell?this is so not in my cup of tea."
so i go for Dr A.
lucky me
one of her topic still available.
so i do my project under her.
now i wonder
what if i stay with Dr S.
maybe my work will receive more acknowledgment
as it is way beyond a degree student capable to do
or maybe i will still be in the lab
doing all the works that haven't finish
and maybe a chance to extend my degree year for another semester.

thank god for that.

and now im on the road to have another choice to make.
another decision that i have to take.
whether to continue my study in master level
or work first for a couple of years before continue it.
i have already put one foot on master study
as i have registered during UPM post grad fair last month.

for now
i just wanna finish up my thesis
and my final paper.

if only i can have more than 24 hours a day. ==;

cheating

2010-04-02T11:08:00.002+08:00

recently,some of my friends have been caught cheating.
not cheating in exam.
but cheating in their relationship.
to make it even worse,
the girlfriend of one of them even sms me about them arguing
who's cheating more.

wtf?

i don't get it.
what's the point of being in a relationship when you wanna cheat your partner?
do they think it's crazy cool for having extra girlfriend(s)?
don't they know the feeling of being hurt?
if you wanna lie to your partner
and having a 'spare-part'
you better off breaking up with your partner and find a new one.

come to think about it,
maybe they think that their relationship is easy to get.
they don't know that the best thing in life is the hardest to have
that's why they don't treasure it so much.

if only the girl who sms me about her boyfriend last night read this,
i wanna say to her
STOP INVOLVING ME IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!

alone

2010-03-15T02:48:00.001+08:00

credits to myky44

brilliant

2010-03-10T23:08:00.004+08:00

superb.

absolute brilliance.

new zidane?

hell YEAH!!

and here's the hattrick boy

the first gunner to score a hattrick in champions league since King Henry left.

let's give phail brown a rout this weekend!!

wonderland

2010-03-06T23:34:00.002+08:00

SPOILER ALERT
IF YOU STILL HAVEN'T WATCH THE MOVIE BETTER NOT SCROLL DOWN AND READ THIS POST.

*starts*

burton and depp never disappoints me.
and alice continue the trend.
we all know how alice story is right?
but not me though.
when i was a kid
i always thought that alice is a cartoon for the adults.
it's not the usual disney cartoons where in the end,there's always a happy ending.
so i refrain myself from watching it whenever they show it on tv.

and when i heard that burton is going to make the movie,
i was one of the people who cheered
as i think that alice should be made in live action
in the hand of someone who can make magic world becomes so real.
who else can make it other than peter jackson?
;P

i watched it last thursday and certainly it was not a disappointment.
add the fact that it was in 3D
the magical world of the underland was so real.
the storyline is good although the dialogues i found it hard to understand sometimes.
not forgetting mia waskowski as alice.
she was SO alice.
and helena bonham carter too,as the red queen.
awesome.
she just can't stop yelling.
and when she lowered her voice
you can expect her to say something sarcastic.
lol
the only disappointment for me is anne hathaway as white queen.
she was so overshadowed by the red queen and even alice.

johnny depp as mad hatter?
like any other character
he nailed it.
who else can be as mad as the mad hatter?
answer me.
not even adam sandler.
or jack black.
depp is one of a kind actor
who can get into the character very well
you will forget who he is
and thinks that the mad hatter was played by-the mad hatter himself.

overall,
a good movie to be made in 3D and live action some more.
im going to watch it in 2D after this.

strong

2010-02-28T17:19:00.005+08:00

be strong

we will be standing behind you

and wishing for the best

aaron ramsey after the incident

together we'll be strong

-victory through harmony-

Rescue workers pull out a survivor from the rubble of the 8.8-magnitude earthquake in Chile. - AP

A collapsed bridge over the Claro river is seen near the town of Camarico after an 8.8-magnitude earthquake struck central Chile early Saturday. - AP

to our no 16 arron ramsey

and Chileans who are affected by the earthquake

be strong

p/s:we won 1-3.that shows we're mentally stronger than last 2 years when eduardo was struck by the same injury.the presence of campbell also helps a lot.march on gunners.show the world how strong we are.

missing

2010-02-26T11:01:00.002+08:00

it's his birthday today
peace be upon him.
somehow i feel like i wanna visit him again
i miss him
miss the calmness that i had
miss all wonderful feeling i had
when i first visit him
when i first see His holy house.
i never felt like that since then.
i wanna be there again.
but only god knows when.

my mom told me that my aunts will be going to Makkah again this ramadhan.
i wonder should i go or not.

funny

2010-02-22T17:18:00.003+08:00

pic kinda related.

at first i was nervous
but as it went on
start to feel ease a bit
but then it went down.
i have to accept it
not the first time though.

anyway
when i think bout it again
it turns out to be funny
and reading all the comments bout the incident
make it seems funnier!
lol

i won't do it again
not for a second time
unless i really need to do it.

kinda embarassing
==;

test

2010-02-21T12:45:00.000+08:00

Dear Idysur Tagem, below are your Personality Tests result:
Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Your view on yourself:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are down-to-earth
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : People like you because you are so straightforward
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship
The seriousness of your love:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : So you will find yourself with plenty of dates
Your views on education:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Education is very important in life
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You want to study hard
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Learn as much as you can
The right job for you:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You need to choose something
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Go for it to be happy
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Achieve success
How do you view success:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are afraid of failure
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous
What are you most afraid of:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are concerned about your image
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : The way others see you
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : It's time for you to believe in who you are
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Not what you wear

waiting

2010-02-21T12:02:00.000+08:00

Im shaking like a leaf
Falling down as if it is autumn
The cold of winter is around
I’m gonna throw my heart away
And sleep like no world to believe in
When dreams felt so real
I’m gonna throw my heart away
And let you know that i’ll be waiting

Secrets i had keep, I had none since i left you
Winds are blowing down trying hard to keep my feet on the ground
There’s a mirror in the water
Reflects a thousand face of a cold heart
I’m gonna throw my heart away and let you know that i am waiting

So i try to put my head up even though your hands are pulling me down
Whispered thousand words that make my stomach turns around
Curled up on my bed couldn’t move an inch and let my blood flows
I’ll throw my heart away to let you know that I’m still waiting

I put the pillow on my face trying hard not to breathe in
Strangled on my bed sheets let the tears wash away the pain
It creeps me up to death knowing that i’ll be gone in a minute
I’ve thrown my heart away just to show you that i’m not waiting

glee~

2010-02-10T17:33:00.003+08:00

thanks to fiqss,i'm watching this great show that has it all.
great songs,jokes,dramas and some sports.
besides that,it shows how american culture is so cruel to their youngsters
where popularity is so important in school.
lucky me im studying in gombak,selangor.
not ohio,texas.
haha^^

to ge0:km patut tengok this series!!hahahaha

anyway,
this is one of the song in Glee, The Music Vol. 1 and made as video montage by solitaireclay07 in youtube.check it out~

p/s:this video means something to me.

different

2010-02-02T00:46:00.002+08:00

there will be a day
when i realize
we're not the same

there will be a day
when i realize
our worlds are far apart

there will be a day
when i realize
two of us won't become one

i wonder if that day has come

eternity

2010-01-26T23:43:00.004+08:00

25 January 2010
9.30am
woke up and washed my clothes.felt very lazy to go to the lab.i was thinking to go to the lab later in the evening to prepare my samples for ashing cuz it takes a night to burn all the samples.

10.15am
i decided to do some rough work on MGM poster.very rough i should say.just some words about the things that we're selling and the price.

11.40am
i asked mursyid to go out and buy our lunch.it's still early but i only took a glass of milo for breakfast.can't stand the hunger.

12.30pm
cheong hong called.he said he will go to the market to check for the latest price of things we're goin to sell so he asked me to not to include the price yet in the poster.

12.45pm
firdaus came to my room to asked for mursyid's motorcycle keys.he's going to the lab later.i joined him after i remember that i need to clean up the beakers that i used last week.i didn't clean it up during the weekend so i need to clean it up before the afternoon class started.

1.05pm
my mom called.she asked me about my lab works.last week i told her that i was thinking about cancel off my fiber work cuz granny khor has asked the supervisors to stop all their students lab work.i haven't discuss it with my supervisor.my mom told me she afraid that if i cancel it off,my marks will be deducted.i told her i will discuss it properly with dr A.

1.50pm
i went back to my room after finish cleaning all the beakers.i was thinking about continue watching glee but i saw lots of comments in arsenal thread in LYN about last night's performance.some so-called fans are calling for arsene's head.wtf.

2.28pm
my mom called again.weird.i haven't discuss anything with dr A.and now mom called again.i wonder what happened.
"abang..pak ngah dah takde" she mumbled.

i was shocked.
i couldn't hear it properly so i asked her to repeat it again.

"pak ngah dah takde bang..baru kejap tadi" she was sobbing.

i was clueless.
silent.
"abang boleh balik tak petang ni?ada kerja tak?"
"boleh.takpe.kerja tu boleh tangguh.kejap lagi abang balik."

i asked asyran to send me to komuter station.
along the way i was feeling numb.

sad.

he's the closest uncle i have.
he took care of me when i was little.
when my dad was in terengganu for 6 years,he's the one who took me,my adik and my opah to go around KL.
i remember when i was around 4-5 years old,he took us to the national museum.
we sat outside of the museum without entering it.
he bought us ice cream.

i also remember
picking up my cousins from school.
he drove mitsubitshi car that time.
and i usually sit in the middle so i can have better view of the front.

i can't remember how he was like when he got stroke.
but i do remember going to hospital every week to visit him.
sometimes we sneak out from the hospital using the back door so that we don't have to pass through the crowded area.
my aunt was the one who lead us.
she said she knew all the path around the hospital.
that shows how long my late uncle was admitted.

after that,he never took us out again.
he was paralyzed half of his body.
my mom said it was because of the pulut kuning.
he already have high blood pressure.
and that year,my mom was transferred from sekolah rendah taman melawati to sekolah rendah taman selaseh.
my mom made some pulut kuning
and my late uncle ate it a lot until he fell ill.
it happened in 1994.

at home,he only lay on his bed.
he can only move around the house using a wheelchair.
my aunt will took him for bath
and clean him up whenever he do his 'business'.
nobody will do it.
not even my cousins.
but my auntie's love knows no boundaries.
and she did it all because of her love to her husband.
she still did it till my uncle's last days.

"seronok tengok kamu adik-beradik dapat masuk universiti"
"belajar rajin-rajin.jangan jadi macam pak ngah.belajar sampai darjah 5 je"
that's what he always said when i see him before going back to college.
my mom told me,
before i go back to college,go and meet my uncle and aunt.
i always did that.
salam and kiss his hand
even though his hand was full with minyak cap kapak smell.
i didn't know that last 2 week was the last time i did it.
but god knows.

now he's gone
for almost 16 years he carried his pain
god has finally call him
some ustaz said
the more you suffer,
Allah will bless you even more.

"apabila matinya seorang anak Adam,terputuslah hubungan dia dengan dunia kecuali tiga perkara:
1) doa anak-anak yang soleh
2) sedekah jariah
3) ilmu yang diamalkan"

his journey in this world has ended.
but his memory will always be with me.

"on sleepless road,the sleepless goes,may angel leads you in"

Jimmy Eat World-Hear You Me

with his beloved grandson.i took this picture for my geriatric assignment.it turns out to be the only pic i have.

Al-Fatihah.

you

2010-01-24T03:04:00.001+08:00

Peyton: Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know, it's the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you?
Lucas: Umm, Kate Bosworth.
Peyton: Luke, come on, it could be anybody you know. Your mom, Haley...
Skills: Your boy Skills.
Peyton: Who’s it gonna be?
Lucas: Brooke.
Peyton: Alright, if that's what you really want, then I have a way for you to get her back.

********

Lucas: Peyton! It's you.
Peyton: What?
Lucas: When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me. It's you. It's you Peyton.

********

i've found my peyton sawyer.
the problem is
to let her know that im her lucas scott.

private

2010-01-21T17:48:00.002+08:00

im surprised
how words can be spread out so fast these days.
one minute u let somebody know about u
and later u will find out that not only one person who knows about it.
amazing!

thanks to those people that my life are now shared with others.
i feel like a celebrity now.
i hope they don't chase me with cameras after this.

gone

2010-01-15T13:11:00.002+08:00

gone for a while.
sick of some people getting involved in my life.
it's my life dammit.
why u must have to barge in and say those things that aren't me?

a message

2010-01-15T01:12:00.004+08:00

ethnocentric:

1. Belief in the superiority of one's own ethnic group.

2. Overriding concern with race.

Cultural relativism is the principle that an individual human's beliefs and activities should be understood in terms of his or her own culture.

from wikipedia

these are what i've learned in Food and Culture subject today.things that got my brain working during the class.things that i always love to hate if it's happening around me.

here's another word related to those two.

Chauvinism, (pronounced /ˈʃoʊvɨnɪzəm/), in its original and primary meaning, is an exaggerated, bellicose patriotism and a blind belief in national superiority and glory

from Oxford English Dictionary

ethnocentrism and chauvinism.
when one thinks that his culture/race/religion/political party/nationality is superior than the others.
i see it everywhere in my own country.this man thinks that his race is superior.that man thinks that his religion is the best.while the other person thinks that his party is the one who can lead the nation.

all of them
are BULLSHIT.

there's no such thing as superior in this world.
nothing is great
except our god.
and in my belief and religion;Allah s.w.t.

cultural relativism.
my understanding:we view people from certain culture/race/religion are all the same regardless of who they are.
dr zalilah has different thought about this.
she said cultural relativism means all culture should be treated the same.
anyway
it's the same concept of generalization.
example:
all MALAYS are LAZY
all CHINESE are DIRTY
all INDIANS are LIARS

f*** that.

that happens when you don't open up your god given brain and think.
when your eyes shut to the truth before your eyes.
when your ears are meant to be stuffed with lies and hate.

what is happening in malaysia today is we certainly lack of understanding each other.not just inter-racial but within ourselves as well,we never tried to understand ourselves better.
the word understand here can never be achieved at this rate.

so,what i'm trying to say is open up your mind.see the world through different angles.never try to judge before you understand.don't let other people influence your perception towards the world.

disappointed

2010-01-08T19:57:00.002+08:00

i am terribly disappointed.

Attacks on church

when you hear about this kind of thing,you may probably think that it happened at indonesia or maybe other part of the world.

but it happened in malaysia.

our very own country.

how can this be?

yes.there was a protest against the use of 'Allah' among christian religion.

but it doesn't have to lead into something like this.
we muslims are encouraged to be good to other people regardless of race,religion or color.
in fact in Al-Quran,Allah s.w.t. said,

"Iaitu mereka yang diusir dari kampung halamannya dengan tidak berdasarkan sebarang alasan yang benar, (mereka diusir) semata-mata kerana mereka berkata: Tuhan kami ialah Allah dan kalaulah Allah tidak mendorong setengah manusia menentang pencerobohan setengahnya yang lain, nescaya runtuhlah tempat-tempat pertapaan serta gereja-gereja (kaum Nasrani) dan tempat-tempat sembahyang (kaum Yahudi), dan juga masjid-masjid (orang Islam) yang sentiasa disebut nama Allah banyak-banyak padanya dan sesungguhnya Allah akan menolong sesiapa yang menolong agamaNya (agama Islam); sesungguhnya Allah Maha Kuat, lagi Maha Kuasa."

(Al-Haj,verse 40)

act like this makes me ashamed with other muslims.

even if you're not agree on the usage of 'Allah' among christians,you don't have to blow up their churches.

i myself don't agree about that.
but i won't do such a thing.
because it will affect the christians and the whole world view towards islam.
it just increase the hate towards islam.

long gone the civilzation that our prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) brought when he moved to Madinah.
at that time,muslims,christians,jewish and the others live peacefully under one set of rule that was agreed by all parties.
but now..
even the muslims are not united.

it's a sad sad world we live in.

1Malaysia?
dream on.
if malaysians still have third world mind like this,it can never happen.

hate

2010-01-07T20:14:00.002+08:00

many names i've been called
many praise i've been received
many hates that i've got
many lies i've been deceived
but none of them knows
what's behind the closed door

names that not what i am
appraisal for what i didn't do
hate from the people i know
lies told by the coward

whatever you said
whatever you do
i don't even care
cuz i have true friends
that will stand by me

the one with the music list

2010-01-01T17:51:00.004+08:00

yeah..it's time for best of the musics in 2009
straight to the point.
here it is,the top albums of 2009
in no particular order:

PARAMORE-BRAND NEW EYES
some said it's bad.some said it's boring.but to me it is the same paramore.full of sing-a-long angry tunes.pa-rap-pa-pa-pa!!and brick by boring brick is one of their best music video so far.kudos to them.

DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL-ALTER THE ENDING
i've been waiting for so long for their new album since dusk and summer.shade of poison tree was kinda disappointing for me cuz it's all acoustic.alter the ending is definitely worth to listen to again and again.

COLBIE CAILLAT-BREAKTHROUGH
from uninspirational to absolute inspirational.colbie went to a songwriting workshop with some of songwriters and they finished up with this great album.it's all about love and hate but there's a beauty in it.try it!

KATE VOEGELE-A FINE MESS
a better album from her debut.a much improved songwriting.better lyrics.and she's even hotter now!lol.

MIKA-THE BOY WHO KNEW TOO MUCH
he's back with more catchy tune and emo songs.this lanky armenia-born guy just can't stop dancing.and he made you can't stop dancing too!eventhough the song is kinda slow like "Rain" you still can dance along during the chorus part.

MUSE-THE RESISTANCE
they've gone classical!!with the addition of symphony in the last three songs,they have showed the world that they are the best trio in rock music this millenium!

HANNAH MONTANA THE MOVIE OST
500 days of summer came close to claim the best OST of 2009 but this one is an original made for the movie OST.so that's a plus factor there.how can you not love songs like "hoedown throwdown","crazier","bless the broken road" and of course,the most influential song in 2009,"the climb".do the hoedown~~!

ZEE AVI-ZEE AVI
she's a malaysian!and she's touring in US now.how cool is that?chirpy voice,sweet look,and don't forget her fingerplucking tunes..she can easily get you in soft mode with her song.have you ever listen to "kantoi"?hahahha

HUJAN-MENCARI KONKLUSI
the best malaysian band of the decade.it's not the year of search anymore.and long gone the hairy godfather of malaysian rock,wings.it's time for hujan and the gang shines.mencari konklusi is a fresher album and continue to make hujan's name a household name for upcoming years.well,as long as they didn't broke up,they will make it.im sure!

COUPLE-TEENAGE DISC FANTASTIC
wait a minute.this is 2008's album.but i only managed to buy it in 2009 though.haha.still,it's a great indie album.they have released a new album called "pop tak masuk radio".and i haven't got it yet.ngeee...

that's it.the rest are disappointing.green day,the fray,arctic monkeys,and lots more.i hope 2010 will have better musics.linkin park and my chemical romance are set to release their new album.can't wait for that!

the one with the new year

2010-01-01T17:38:00.002+08:00

it's a new year
a new day
but the same life we're livin in
who would have thought that we're goin to live in another year
another decade
after the brand new millenium
2009
a year that bring a lot of things to me
good and bad
and still i got through with it
and become what left standing in this new year
a new man?
no
but maybe a better man
than what i am in 1.1.09.
yes.
i myself thinks that i've become more matured and wiser(?)
i'll be 22 this year.
it's time to think about the future.
of what i wanna be.
and what i don't.

2009
thanks for everything that happened.
may 2010 will be better than you.

*first time in three years i didn't celebrate new year with my bros.sorry guys..something came up at last minute..

we'll be a dream

2009-12-30T02:03:00.000+08:00

Do you remember the nights

We'd stay up just laughing

Smiling for hours

At anything

Remember the nights

We drove around crazy in love

by We The Kings

When the lights go out

We'll be safe and sound

We'll take control of the world

Like it's all we have to hold on to

And we'll be a dream

Do you remember the nights

We made our way dreaming

Hoping of being

Someone big

We were so young then

We were too crazy

In love

When the lights go out

We'll be safe and sound

We'll take control of the world

Like it's all we have to hold on to

And we'll be a dream

When the lights go out

We'll be safe and sound

We'll take control of the world

Like it's all we have to hold on to

And we'll be

When the lights go out

We'll be safe and sound We'll take control of the world

Like it's all we have to hold on to

And we'll be a dream

the one with the movie list

2009-12-25T22:30:00.003+08:00

it's time of the year.
THE END IS NEAR...
i mean..
the end of the year.lol.

so,like last year,i have my own best movie list and disappointing movies as well
the list is in no particular order,mind you.

DISTRICT 9
an alien documentary cum movie.set in south africa,it's about local government officer who was turned into an alien after a freak incident in the alien residential area.thanks to internet viral marketing(cloverfield,anyone?),it gained massive online responds and most of them already nominated it as movie of the year.

UP
if last year we had wall-e,this year,it's up!too be honest,it's just another cartoon but somehow it gives me a special feeling after watching it.

PUBLIC ENEMY
johnny depp is johnny depp.enough said.when he's acting,he's not johnny.he's the character himself.be it a lonely guy with scissors on his hands,or the owner of the weirdest chocolate factory or even the crazy barber,he never disappoint me with his acting.this story is about john dilinger who broke free from the jail and continue his crime job acting as modern day-well,not so modern actually-robin hood.even though he has become the public enemy no 1,he's a true gentleman.he has promised his girlfriend the they will die old.too bad the police got him.oh yea,this movie appeared in mafia wars as well.how cool was that?!

ZOMBIELAND
the best zombie movie of the year!lol.had a great laugh with all the rules colombus made for his own survival.and bill murray..gosh.should watch this if you want a great laugh!

500 DAYS OF SUMMER
this is the best romantic movie of the year.well..if u're thinking that there's other movie should get the title,then up to you.cuz i probably don't watch it.heh.but seriously,this is the best love story that is not a love story-as mentioned by the narrator-for this year.Zooey Deschaney was adorable!

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
this movie is effing scary!and to add up to that,i watched it in my room with the lights off after midnight.damm i lost my sleep after that.yes,the daylight was boring but when the night comes,you can't barely move!

CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALL
another animation made it into the list!lol.same reason as up.and it's about father and son relationship.that's a plus factor.

TRIANGLE
if you're looking for a pure suspense/thriller,this is it.it's about my worse fear.deja-vu.when u watch this movie,you'll think when the hell it is goin to end but somehow,*spoiler alert!* it never ends!

HANNAH MONTANA THE MOVIE
miley~!!i don't care what you think but miley was great in this movie.she can act way better than britney.and the soundtrack..woo-hoo~!love it!do the hoedown~~

PAPADOM
the only malaysian movie that worth to watch it in cinema.the winner of best movie in FFM.not forgetting best actor and actress.

well..sadly,this year has many hoo-haas but not much great movie to think about.yes.this year grossed higher than before.but in terms of quality,it surely not as high.here are the movies that kinda disappoint me.

TRANSFORMERS 2:REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
yes.i've said it before.it's great.but when i re-watch it again,damm.how can i be so stupid to call this great.it just recycle the old cheesy hollywood action movie ideas and put it in 2 hour long movie.apart from great effects,the story was..not much to talk about.so,what was the cheesy ideas?1)evil said to the good that the boss will come to take you out. 2)the big good died earlier and the smaller good will find the way to revive him back. 3)the smaller good need to travel across the world and eventually found it. 4)suddenly,the smaller good died on his way to revive the big good.he went to heaven and someone up there told him to go back and save the world. 5)big good revived and kill all the evil.
oh my. i wasted some times to write this.lol

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2:BATTLE OF THE SMITHSONIAN
another recycled idea.enough said.

2012
another one.what the hell.all the creatives brain has gone to tv network to work on new tv series or what?this movie is just another so-called world ends movie.

SAW 6
not much of mind twisting test like the previous movies.

FINAL DESTINATION 4
yes,it's 3D.but what the hell.only one hour??death sure is busy this time around.

PHOBIA 2
the last two parts saved it.the first three was boring.

JENNIFER'S BODY
girl lures guy into bed.guy fell into trap.they make out.girl becomes monster and eat the guy.fine.but if it's in the movie for 2-3 times,there's something wrong with it.either the director is manipulating the girl's body or he just love monsters.but this involves megan fox.so i think it's the former.

NEW MOON
i just finished reading the novel.the verdict:the novel was much way better than the movie.in the movie,bella was plain wood who lost her love and find remedy with other monster.but in the novel she's a better girl.when i checked back about the director,okay.he's one of the director of american pie.and you know how american pie is.when you give a good story to crappy director,he will turns it into crappy movie as well.

that's it for this year!i think i missed some good movies.there must be a reason i missed it.heh.i still haven't watch avatar yet.and sherlock holmes as well..nevermind.hope i can still write this next year..

the one who didn't post

2009-12-25T22:22:00.001+08:00

so much to update
wait till i get back to college
huhu

updates on:
my FYP
my holiday in KB
malaysian football of course!
my year review

the one who had a great weekend

2009-12-15T15:05:00.002+08:00

i refrain myself from posting this
but yet i had to post this
this is a must-post post

what is it about?

a great weekend+monday in my football world.

chelsea dropped points at bridge.
manu lost against villa.
manc draw again with bolton.
and tottenham lost against wolves at their own yard.

finally..

ARSENAL WON AGAINST LIVERPOOL AT ANFIELD!!
yeah baby!
it's the so called Anfield Fortress!
we broke our jynx by winning against the big four at their yard.
the last time we did that if i'm not mistaken was against manu.
that 1-0 thanks to moneybayour.

last season we had arshavin,silvestre and fabianski against the reds at anfield.
and the result was 4-4.
arshavin's mighty was overshadowed by poor defending and goalkeeping by silvestre and fabianski

this time around,we had arshavin,vermaelen and almunia
the result was 1-2.
another brilliance by arshavin plus great defending by vermaelen and cool saves by almunia.
on top of that,traore owned torres!
even vidic can't do that!lol

oh yea
gerrard and rooney should be in UK's diving team next olympic.
too bad i think they had an invincible 'DIVER' tag at their back that made the referee ignore their acts.
rooney even had a yellow card for that.
and gerrard should kiss denilson's ass instead of touching it.
captain marvel u say..
XD

in another part of the world
our own malaysia team through to the final of SEA games!
they knocked out thais in group match
and kicked laos ass in the semis
woo-hoo!
although their performance not quality enough and several times they lost the ball,
they managed to show that tiger spirit and took their chance to win the match 3-1.
hope for the best in thursday's final!

the one with the stalked

2009-12-10T23:23:00.003+08:00

i am watching you
i read every words you said
i see every smile you made

did you notice it?

but somehow
you're getting far and far away from me
i hate the distance

the one with FYP

2009-12-10T01:10:00.002+08:00

wake up at 9.
checked emails,facebook and LYN.
took my bath and breakfast.
went to lab till 5 pm.
slept till 7pm.
then had dinner.
play fm.

that's my routine since i started working on my FYP.
i wonder if i continue my study and do master studies,
will my daily schedule will be like this?
with the addition of classes la..
hmm...

from my observations on some of my seniors..
it seems like it is.
i'm scared.
of being stuck in something that can never change.
i always wanted to new things.
but if i am going to be in this field
will i be able to do that?

"what makes you wanted to do this thing?"

i wanted to be a scientist.
how uncool is that?
lol
and the field that interest me the most is food science.
influenced by my mom's cooking.
always wonder how she can cook great dish from simple ingredients.
how we can change something blunt and tasteless into something different.
something great that can change people heart.
can change the world.

ok.
that's overboard.
too much of yakitate!japan and cooking master boy.
XD

and so i am in this field already.
but somehow i can't enjoy it.
you know what will i do when im doing something i didn't enjoy.
i.e:festik 09.
should i hit the proceed button
or cancel?
or later?

the road

2009-12-03T01:46:00.002+08:00

Where is this road I'm taking leading me to,
where that place is.
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know
but i'm walking this road today also

i wonder if people all have their chosen way to go
or if they make their own ways..
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know
but i'm walking this road like this again

i wonder why i am standing on this road i am at right now
if this is the right way to go
if my dreams will come true at the end of this road..

i wonder what really gives me pleasure,
money, reputation,
or the ones i love
i want to know
i want to know
i want to know
but i can't figure it out yet

i want to say
that this is my road with confidence
and believe in my faith,
and never turn back,
never regret my choices..
i want to walk like that
i want to walk like that
i want to walk like that
but i still don't have any confidence

what am i dreaming of, who is that dream for
if those dreams come true would i really be happy
where am i.. really going right now
what do i really have to live for

i wonder why i am standing on this road i am at right now
if this is my right way
if my dreams will come true at the end of this road..
what am i dreaming of, who is that dream for
if those dreams come true would i really be happy
where am i.. really going right now
what do i really have to live for

by G.O.D/KaRa

fifteen

2009-12-02T00:07:00.002+08:00

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
And you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way

It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
"You know, I haven't seen you around before"

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be
Fifteen

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool
We'll be outta here as soon as we can

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car
And you're feeling like flying
And you're momma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round
But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

Your very first day
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors

fifteen by taylor swift

let me recall back
when i was fifteen..
that's when i learned to use mirc,ym,kazaa
lol.
i got a new pc at that time.
so i used it to get some new friends on the net
is friendster started out at that time too?huhu

when i was fifteen..
honeymoon year.
finished pmr and enjoying my days as a form 4 student
it was great!
our class was located in the outer part of the school
kinda secluded.top floor at laboratories' block.
and the teachers weren't always there.
we had lots of free time
end up hanging around at the corridor looking at students passing by down there
and flirted with some of them(including a form 1 student name thum yin teng.lol.taik kucing!)
it certainly was a great time for me.

when i was fifteen..
i know nothing apart from school life and games
i didn't plan to be in upm studying nutrition
i didn't know anything about future
what i know is enjoying my school life as i only have two years left to wear the white and green uniform.
back then,if i was asked about my ambition,i would say i wanna be a scientist.
what's so good about scientist?
i don't even know.
but i love the sound of it.XP

when i was fifteen..
i still didn't have a special girlfriend
just some random girls that i used to like
i was a..should i say..loser?no..geek?maybe..
well..im in science class anyway.
those who's in science class were always rated as skema.
so i was in that category-like one of my junior said before she knows more about me.huhu

fifteen.
for a normal students,they will start suffering with PMR exams
but for me and other not so normal students who passed PTS and skipped year 4,
it was a great year to enjoy life.

fifteen.
how i wish i could go back into time and enjoying my life again with my old friends..
i miss that days...

the one with vampires

2009-12-01T23:20:00.004+08:00

first it was "interview with vampire"

when they introduced us with good looking vampire unlike the original Count Dracula

then came Angel

a spin off character from Buffy The Vampire Slayer
he was a hunk back then and made me think that vampire is the coolest monster ever!

and then came the new for-teens-only vampires
Edward Cullen and Stefan Salvatore

Vampire For The WIN!
lol

oh yea.not forgetting the cutest and prettiest vampire ever.even kate beckingsale lose out on this one...

Alice Cullen!

a.k.a. ashley greene

pretty,huh?

the one with music reviews

2009-11-13T20:08:00.006+08:00

ohaiyo~

long time didn't post something bout musics here since i changed my blog name to Life in Tainted Pages.just wanna share some musics that i couldn't stop playing in my playlist whether on my lappy or in my phone.these are really great musics and should be in my best album of the year list.

firstly,Dashboard Confessional-Alter The Ending.
two years after their last album,Shades of Poison Tree,they couldn't decide whether to release an acoustic album or electric album.It ends up they release two version of it.standard studio album and acoustic version.i gotta say that both of them are great!they managed to pickup the momentum since Dusk and Summer to shades and now,alter.all of the songs were nicely written.there's no such thing as album filler in this.and the acoustic version,simply said,amazing!with the addition of strings and piano,really enhance the beauty of their music.

worth to listen:almost every song.but i really recommend their first single,Belle Of The Boulevard,the lovely ballad,Even Now and Water and Bridges.these are my fav!

next,Paramore-Brand New Eyes.
they nearly broke up since their last tour.Hayley came up with a song about what she feels and wa-lah.comes the new album.the song that saves the band-ignorance,undoubtedly the best song in this album.with angry chorus and nice riffs,they've moved on from the pop-ish and teeny Riot! to more matured people.Hayley's vocal was waaaay much better than before.listen to All I Wanted.you'll get what i mean.every great album must have a ballad.this album is one of them.and the ballad,The Only Exception was written nicely.about a broken hearted girl who don't believe in love but there's an exception-of course,her boy.there's also an acoustic finger-plucking style song,Misguided Ghost where the guitarists,Josh and Taylor shows their skill.

last but not least, Dead By Sunrise-Out Of Ashes.
Chester Bennington decided to make a side project to express his music and move away from Linkin Park image.and he came up with an old school modern rock album.but if you're an avid LP fan,you'll notice the similarities of some LP's Minutes to Midnight and this album.well,what can i say.the front man for both band were the same.what do you expect?and this album was made while he had some trouble with drugs,alcohol and relationship.the ballads in this album were all about his broken marriage with his former wife and his life with a new wife.there are guitar solos in some of the songs that reminds me of Slash and Richie Sambora era.very cool!

worth to listen:Crawl Back In,Too Late, My Suffering,In The Darkness.there's a song that he's been performed in some of LP show before this,Morning After.he performed with acoustic guitar.and now you can listen to the complete version of it.

the one with late night post

2009-11-06T01:57:00.003+08:00

it's almost 2
and im still here
my eyes are getting sore
and my body's becoming numb
my mind is thoughtless
i was browsing around LYN
but nothing interests me
browsing my friends at FB
same thing happened
i don't want to sleep
and dream of all the things
that will not happen in reality
i don't want to sleep
and wake up tomorrow to find out
that my life is just what it is
my interest is zero
and i still could not find
the strength that push me from behind
untill tomorrow comes
it's just the clock that continues ticking.

p/s:long time didn't update my other blog.huhu..

the one with former Norwich City boss

2009-11-03T12:26:00.003+08:00

"I'm Sorry,I can't go on"

Bryan Gunn,former Norwich City FC boss was sacked following the relegation of the team from Coca Cola Championship to Coca Cola League 1.He said he was "mentally distracted" in last couple of matches that saw them dropped to the bottom of the league.There are rumours that the number 1 seat at Carrow Road will be occupied by former Newcastle boss, Alan Shearer and an unknown Malaysian manager, Megat Rusydi.The odds are up that Shearer will take the position although he already denied the rumours.

"I'm Glad To Be Here"

New Norwich City boss, Megat Rusydi,claimed that it's not his dream but he promised for better future in the team."My dream is always be managing the top clubs but for now,I'm with this team and I believe that this team capable to achieve things that my predecessor can't achieve" says Rusydi.He signed a two year deal worth 75,000 pounds yesterday at club's office.

more of it here.

the one at All American Rejects Concert

2009-11-02T19:52:00.003+08:00

it was a hell of a concert!
great musics.
great bands.
great crowds.
great weekend!!

i just can't stop playing the concert playlist till now..huhu

here are some pics..

i was so far away at first

but then got near..

and near..huhu

tyson with his mohican headgear.he danced like an indian(i mean the american indians..)and he looks very gay!lol

damm blur pics..

will try to find better pics than these..anyway,enjoy this video~

Life is a gift

2009-10-30T09:29:00.002+08:00

Life is a Gift

There was a blind girl who hated herself because of her blindness. Not only did she hate herself but she hated everyone else, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend. One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"

The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her that simply said. "Just take care of my eyes dear."

This is how the human brain changes when our status changes. Only a few remember what life was like before and even fewer remember who to thank for always being there even when times were painfully unbearable. Life is a gift.

Today before you think of saying an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat. Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven. Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but is barren. Before you argue about your dirty house -- someone didn't clean or sweep --Think of the people who are living in the streets. Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job. But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - remember that not one of us is purely guilt free.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.

Life is a gift: live it, enjoy it, celebrate it, and fulfill it. Relish the moment. It may not come around again.

-taken from LYN /K/ inspirational stories

shooting star

2009-10-28T23:18:00.002+08:00

a shooting star passed me by
without even saying goodbye
it left me in the dark
no chance to get near
no chance to talk

for a second it brights me up
but then it turns and did not stop
oh shooting star
wherever you are
come back again and shines me on

the one with "help"

2009-10-25T16:24:00.003+08:00

what do you think when you do some good deeds?
what do you think when you're helping someone else?

is it for money?
or love?
or because you don't have anything else to do?

or is it simply because
you love helping people?

mine..
it's more to the latter
but of course
there has got to be some circumstances

when you're helping someone,
do you think about the benefit that you get?
or what he or she will pays you?

if someone asks for help,
do you runaway
or lend some helping hands instead?

we live in a world full with people.
no matter how and when,
you will find out that there's people need your assistance.
need your guidance.
need your hands.

think about this.
someone asks for your help.
and you agreed to help him/her.
he/she really grateful for your help and says thanks.
you will:
a) say 'it's my pleasure'
b) say 'you need to pay me'
c) smile and pretend that nothing happen

your answer?

okay.
let's think about another situation.
a asked b for help
and b agreed.
but
b is making face
as if a has ruined b's day and spoiled b's precious time.
do you think that:
a) a is wrong for disturbing b
b) b is wrong for being not sincere
c) who cares a or b is wrong?

judge yourself.

i seldom refuse to help people.
if i refuse,it means that i have bigger and more important thing to do rather than helping.
sometimes,
people asked me
"you so free to help others huh?"

"don't you have any better thing to do than helping him/her?"

they don't understand.

i remember my bro,bung said
"if you're not helping me,i won't help you"
that's what life is.
if you don't help people,
people won't help you.
you never know when you're going to need help.
you never know the day that you'll be left alone without anyone and you say to yourself
"how i wish i would have help him,he might helps me now"

we will need help.
and that help might comes from the one you have rejected.
the one that you said "no,i can't"

by that time comes,
you might need to help people as much as you could.
you may get more than just a 'thank you'.

the one who haven't update his blog for days..

2009-10-16T16:17:00.002+08:00

it's getting dusty over here..
and my thoughts are getting rust..
am i too busy?
not really
quite a lot of free times
just that i don't have the mood to blog
plus
with the internet connection is like shit

where should we start?

last sunday..
class trip to open houses
lol
6 cars
went to our course mates houses at ampang and seri gombak
yes.
seri gombak
not my house though.
huhu

next
my final year project..
haihz..
too lazy to start
and when i started to get a grip on it
the lab assistance halt me
she wasn't there when i went to the lab.
haihz..

finally
i've met my 1st year juniors
and talked to some of them
been wanted to know at least the guys
but they've been very shy to us (im trying not to condemn them..huhu)
and thanks to the club's committee
they've introduced me well enough.
huhu..

that's it this week.
no idea what to write.

the graduation song

2009-10-10T00:47:00.002+08:00

three years have left us with goodbye
and i can't find way to make you smile
all the winds and hurricane
all the tears in the rain
will find their way slowly
will help me get through this

stupid acts,false alarm
don't be afraid,i'm alright
feel the fear in his eyes
feel the sadness passed you by
can i be someone for you
can i hold your arms?
that's cool

i found my way back to my room
in this cold,dark night,i'm in blue
stars are falling from the sky
where's the moon now?
don't be shy
sweet love,embrace it
say goodnight
feels like the first day of my life

sloppy video..sorry~
about the song:it was all about my life in uni
although stated there 3 years
three sounds better than four.heh.
dedicated to all the best people i met in universiti putra malaysia.

the one with a bad dream part 2

2009-10-09T17:09:00.002+08:00

i dreamed bout it again
just different face
and different situations

what is happening to me?

the one with a bad dream

2009-10-08T14:28:00.000+08:00

i woke up
trying to remember what happened in my dream
and it feels so real
my heart felt like torn into pieces

what happened?

it's the thing that i don't want it to happen
the thing that i hate the most
the thing that im afraid of
is hurting my best friend.

he looked at me
with sad eyes
and spoke to me with such a disappointed voice
the words that came out from his mouth
almost felt like razorblades
slicing my heart
bit by bit

it hurts a lot

thank god my alarm rang
and i heard it loudly
with huge relief

i don't want to be in that dream again
and i don't want it to happen in reality.

just when i thought i have the best friends in the world.

the one who's been busy lately

2009-10-06T13:05:00.004+08:00

phew~
very busy last week.
assignment,proposal,seminar..
and my open house..
huhu

very tired.thank god this week i got extra 2 days of holiday.lol.

29 friends.6 cars.one love.i love you guys!!

p/s:still searching for more pictures..

with my housemates.except keyo.he's not.lol.this is from jamuan raya kolej anyway.ate a lot of satay that nite.i mean A LOT.i don't think i will eat another satay after this...huhu..

i was supposed to prepare my samples last week but had to postponed it to this week.very busy la dr..sorry...

haihz..

if my life is a movie,i need a heroine that can cheer me up and gives me strength..hohoho...

*edited my Albums I DL list.

"what kids think about the ocean"

2009-10-01T18:47:00.000+08:00

Kelly, age 6 - “This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.”

Jerry, age 6 – “Oysters' balls are called pearls.”

Wayne, age 7 – “If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.

Kylie, age 6 – “Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more.”

Billy, age 8 – “A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.”

Millie, age 6 – “My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men, a woman and some pots and comes back with crabs.”

William, age 7 – “When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.”

Helen, age 6 – “Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?”

Amy, age 6 – “I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.”

Christopher, age 7 – “Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers at night.”

Kevin, age 6 – “When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.”

Becky, age 8 – “Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.”

Julie, age 7 – “On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.”

Bobby, age 6 – “The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know.”

James, age 7 – “My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.”

credit to Jason Mraz.dunno where he got it.lol

the one with kara~

2009-09-30T00:06:00.002+08:00

you can call me slowpoke or whatever.but i just starting to love them especially this girl:

nicole jung yong joo~

this girl is uber cute!!

and she has awesome moves as well.go youtube their video-mister.warning to those who have weak heart:you will get a heart attack when u watch this video.lol.

oh ya.mind u,she's only 18!!

geudareul sahranghae,nicole~huhu

finally..there's someone can beat my boa~

the one with raya post part 2

2009-09-28T13:07:00.003+08:00

as promised,pics of raya this year~

my baju raya..omg.look at me!how tall i am!!hahaha (disclaimer:not actual size.lol)

my family~

salam tangan mak..
salam tangan bapak..

at teluk intan...

let's rempit!

with Jaja.noticed my baju raya now?lol

beraya at kenny rogers times square

the one with tv series

2009-09-25T15:34:00.003+08:00

the season of cw network series have started..
and my fav series as well:SUPERNATURAL and ONE TREE HILL!!!

too bad in this seventh season of OTH, lucas and peyton aren't with the show anymore..sad..there goes my favourite character..anyway..they have new couple this time..watch it if you wanna know!hint:the new gal in town is HOT!!

lucifer is coming!!well..at least in supernatural.lol.the apocalypse is here.and the four horsemen has come.starting with war.the first one.is it?i don't know.it's according to the series anyway.if you're a christian,you may know bout it more than i do.huhu..

i'm currently in love with this new series:VAMPIRE DIARIES.it has what i've been drooling over.hot gals.vampires.teenage school drama.schweet!!

the one with raya post

2009-09-25T10:27:00.002+08:00

finally have some time to post about raya.
oh wait.
i haven't got raya pics from kakak yet..
haihz..
is it okay to post my raya without pics?
ok..ok..
i'll post it later when i got them..huhu..

actually i got many things to share so i start with first one:my raya

1) this year's raya we had two new members in our family.my two new cousin-in-laws.one is quite and one is crazy like us.one is malaysian and another is a Moroccan.i always wanted to ask him if he knows about maroane chamakh.but..well..he seems like so shy with us..naah..i'll skip it.hehe..

2) my kakak bought me my baju raya this time~nice green baju melayu which suits me well.and combined with my dad's kain songket..wa-lah..jejaka melayu terkacak.hahahahaha

3) i couldn't go to my aunt's house at subang.had to jaga opah.huhu..too bad..my aunty has new house(a condo actually) at subang and i really like to go there after my last visit when she just entered the condo.can see sunway pyramid from her balcony..haihz..when will i have my own condo...ngee..

4) we went to teluk intan last tuesday.any my new crazy cousin-in-law joined us to know our family better.lol.as usual,we went to opah's cousin's and opah's in-laws house around teluk intan..tasted nice rendang as well..rendang dendeng(am i rite?huhu).nice!then,the day after that,we went to dad's uncle's house at kampung jejawi(i think.heee).a real kampung.they even got some durian trees in front of their house.and the durians as well..huhu..we didn't go to another real kampung,kampung bahagia,my dad's cousin's cuz we met them here.oh yea,here got nice rendang as well..yummy~!

5) yesterday,me and my sisters went beraya at times square.lol.watched final destination in 3D.amazing.one thing about final destination series is you don't have to watch the previous one to catch up with the following.i never watch any of the series but i know a lil bit of the storyline from my friends.watching it in 3D was amazing.can almost feel like the nails,screwdriver and anything else flew in front of you.lol.i almost jumped off the seat in one scene where one of the actor got hit by ambulance.great!

6) i just found hafiz af7 cd at video ezy,times square.nice songs.sad thing is astro included other af7 finalist songs as well.and the songs were lame.except akim's song.em..the cd is not for me though.it's for kakak.i've promised her to buy her that cd for her bday which was 2 months ago.huhu

7)last but not least:arsenal youth did it again in carling cup!hehe..kudos to vela.he came as substitute and managed to assisted and scored.

i haven't done my assignments for both consumer health and seminar.great.

the one with kanye

2009-09-17T21:52:00.002+08:00

sorry taq.kanye said so.hahaha

selamat hari raya to everyone.
forgive me for what i've done wrong.
let's forget all the past mistakes and continue our lives.

the one with another disappointment

2009-09-13T21:25:00.003+08:00

alrite.
i know some of you are waiting for my post after last nite.(ye.utk ko budak kecik.)
i'll start it with this pic.

damm prick.

fine.we lost fair and square.blame it on wenger's substitutions.rosicky for denilson and eduardo for song?wth.should rip off diaby and bendtner instead of our best defensive midfielders.haihz..wenger never learn.

MU won with 10 men on field against spuds.kudos to them.they deserve the win.i don't mind if they played like that during our visit to OT and won the game.but..heck.that's history.

the good part of our team is rosicky is back~!after 1year ++ never played football and he's back with 1 assist and 1 goal. :respect:'

enough with football.

now i wanna talk bout my proposal presentation.

it was good.i think i did good enough to earn good marks.
sad part is
i carelessly put the wrong formula for my methods.not wrong actually.it was more like a typo.this is what happens when u still editing ur slide half hour before u present.lol.i edited some parts and forgot to edit another.then i got shot by the lecturers.omg.so embarassed.huhu..nvm.at least i managed to answer all the questions correctly. ^^V

up next:my 2nd test for pkk4402.did badly in first test.hope to redeem this time around.

tomorrow

2009-09-10T01:31:00.002+08:00

when you wake up tomorrow
you will see
the sun smiles at you
and tell you everything is good

in the afternoon
you will find the people
whom you love the most
the one you care the most
the one you miss the most
are standing right in front of you
and greet you with a hug

in the evening
the sun is setting down
moon comes up
and welcome the night

when the night comes
stars are there to accompany you
until you feel sleepy
and your eyes are heavy
they will cover you with a blanket
and chase away the monsters
under your bed

tomorrow will be a better day
if you want it
tomorrow will be just another day
if you want it

tomorrow miracles will happen
tomorrow love will struck
tomorrow a life will ends

so tonight
live every moment of it
and sleep like you never did
tomorrow might be
your day